Cotillion Club Orientation Book
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Cotillion Club of Sarasota Welcome to Orientation The Cotillion Club of Sarasota strives to provide both instruction and experiences to help Members learn and practice proper behavior in social settings Today s orientation is designed to prepare you for your upcoming social events with our organization as well as the many social situations which you will encounter the rest of your life
Table of Contents Cotillion Core Values 1 2 How to RSVP to the Cotillion Dances 2 3 Proper Dress Attire for Ladies 3 4 Improper Dress Attire for Ladies 4 5 Proper Dress Attire for Gentlemen 6 Improper Dress Attire for Gentlemen 7 8 How to Meet the Chaperones 8 How to Eat at a Formal Dining Table 9 Know the Formal Place Settings 9 10 How to Serve Yourself at a Buffet Table 10 11 Dessert 11 Dancing 12 Departing the Dance 12 Conclusion 13
Cotillion Core Values The Cotillion Club of Sarasota has established a set of core values that we believe dictate the basis by which we conduct ourselves as an organization These core values set the framework for the principles of Cotillion We strive to instill these values in our Cotillion Members throughout their time in our organization Courtesy Integrity Respect Kindness The showing of politeness in Really big people are above one s attitude and behavior everything else courteous toward others considerate and generous not just to some people in some circumstances but to everyone all the time The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles moral uprightness Thomas J Watson One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised Chinua Achebe A feeling of deep admiration Respect for ourselves guides for someone or something our morals respect for others guides our manners elicited by their abilities qualities or achievements Laurence Sterne The quality of being Kindness in words creates friendly generous and confidence considerate Kindness in thinking creates profoundness Kindness in giving creates love Lao Tzu 1
Cotillion Core Values continued Accountability Gratitude The fact or condition of being accountable responsibility An obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one s actions The quality of being thankful readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness At the end of the day we are accountable to ourselves our success is a result of what we do Catherine Pulsifer Gratitude makes sense of our past brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow Melody Beattie How to RSVP to the Cotillion Dances Written Format It is proper etiquette and a rule of the Sarasota Cotillion that Members not parents must respond in writing to each invitation Your RSVP must be placed in the envelope provided and arrive on or before the date listed 2
How to RSVP to the Cotillion Dances continued Voicemail Only a MEMBER can leave a message to change their written RSVP not a parent Say hello give your name and phone number Speak clearly and in an unhurried manner with your message Repeat your name spell it and repeat your phone number Proper Dress DressAttire Attirefor forLadies Ladies Cotillion dresses Cotillion dresses Should be appropriately dressy or semi formal or formal Should be appropriately dressy semi formal formal as indicated on the as invitation indicated on the invitation Hemlines should be longer than the lady s fingertips when her arm is extended by her Hemlines should be longer than the ladies fingertips when her side even while dancing arm is extended by her side even while dancing and email us questions Please go to www sarasotacotillion org Please go to www SarasotaCotillion org and email us questions or images regarding or images regarding appropriate dress attire before the dance appropriate dress attire before the dance 3
Cotillion dresses Should be appropriately dressy semi formal or formal as indicated on the invitation Hemlines should be longer than the ladies fingertips when her arm is extended by her side even while dancing continued Please go to www sarasotacotillion org and email us questions or images regarding appropriate dress attire before the dance Kno Proper Dress Attire for Ladies Your f use T Comfortable shoes are encouraged Comfortable Dressy shoes fasten around the ankle shoesmust are encouraged Dressy shoes must fasten around the ankle 2 Improper Dress Dress Attire Attirefor forLadies Ladies No pant suits bare midriff low cut back or dresses that are too short tight or revealing Hemlines must extend BEYOND the fingertips Dresses should remain below the fingertips while a lady is dancing Please refrain from wearing any dress that would be considered a type of a club dress 4
Improper Dress Attire for Ladies continued No pants shorts pant suits bare midriff low cut back no lower than the bra line slip or dresses aremidriff too short low tight cut bodycon dresses No pant suits that bare back or orrevealing dresses that are too short revealing Hemlines musttight extendorBEYOND the fingertips Dresses should remain below the Hemlines must extend fingertips while a lady is dancing BEYOND the fingertips Dresses should remain below the fingertips while a lady is dancing Please refrain from wearing anywearing dress thatany would be considered a type club dress refrain from dress that would beofconsidered Please a type of a club dress No hats No flip flops boots sneakers or canvas shoes No flip flops boots sneakers or canvas shoes Backless are considered Backless shoes areshoes considered inappropriate inappropriate 3 5
Proper Dress Attire for Gentlemen The following dress attire is expected at Cotillion dances Gentlemen must wear a traditional suit Button down dress shirt with a collar Tie leather belt and dress socks A traditional suit can be substituted with a suit jacket or blazer with dress slacks Gentlemen must wear hard soled dress shoes 6
Improper Dress Attire for Gentlemen Improper Dress Attire for Gentlemen The following clothing is not acceptable Jeans Corduroy slacks Collarless shirt T shirts Sport socks The following clothing is not acceptable Jeans Sport socks Corduroy slacks Hats Hush puppies or boat shoes are not appropriate for a semi Collarless shirt or formal Novelty suits AKA and accessories formal event rubber soled shoes T shirts 5 7
Corduroy slacks Collarless shirt T shirts Sport socks Improper Dress continued Attire for Gentlemen Hush Puppies and boat shoes are not appropriate for a semi formal or formal event e g Hush shoes puppies or boat shoes are not appropriate for a semirubber soled formal or formal event AKA rubber soled shoes How to Meet the Chaperones 5 It is a Cotillion tradition to meet the Chaperones at the dance in the receiving line It is polite to shake hands and introduce yourself while saying hello Please give your first and last name to every Chaperone you meet and then move along Remember to extend a firm handshake and make eye contact 8
How to Eat at a Formal Dining Table You ve met the Chaperones and now it s time to be seated at your table Please sit up straight and place the napkin in your lap It s not polite to lounge over the table or have your elbows on the table All food or condiments are passed to the right Butter should always be sliced and placed onto the bread plate When serving yourself only take the amount of food you know you will eat Take small bites and chew with your mouth closed Please lean slightly forward when eating so food does not fall on you or in your lap Do not talk with your mouth full Please refrain from smacking or eating with your mouth open Know the Formal Place Settings Your food comes and you panic because you don t know which utensil to use The general rule is Start with the farthest outlying utensils next to the plate 9
Know the Formal Place Settings continued The bread is placed on your bread plate Your water glass is always on the right How to Serve Yourself at a Buffet Table When invited to approach the buffet serving area do so in an organized line and when appropriate serve yourself using the following guidelines Take small not over sized portions of your favorite foods Replace the serving utensils below the warming tray or on the plate provided Please do not touch food in the buffet serving area with your fingers If you drop the serving utensil into the food or onto the floor please call the waiter to replace it If bread is offered without serving utensils only handle the piece of bread you intend to put on your plate When you return to your table wait for all fellow Members to be seated before you eat 10
How to Serve Yourself at a Buffet Table continued Return for seconds only after everyone else is served Use a clean plate at the buffet line for second helpings Dessert Dessert etiquette is like dining etiquette Only take one of your favorite dessert items until everyone is served Go back to the table to eat your dessert Never eat while standing or walking not even a bite Use utensils and only touch the dessert items you put on your plate You can go back for seconds after everyone has been served 11
Dancing We are proud to continue the tradition established in 1951 of having our Members kindly consider accepting an invitation to dance when asked Please practice the dances you have learned at Cotillion Gentlemen may not take off their suit jacket tie or shoes Ladies must wear shoes at all times Please refrain from inappropriate dancing Departing the Dance It is important to be gracious and thank your hosts as you are leaving the dance Members must be picked up promptly at the end of each dance Cotillion Board Members are not responsible for Members after the dance Parents must wait outside the venue to pick up their child at the conclusion of the dance For liability reasons parents may not enter the premises of the dance to watch their children pick them up early or for any other purpose 12
Conclusion The goal of The Cotillion Club of Sarasota is to provide you with practical interactive skills and social tools that empower you in achieving your goals We encourage you to meet fellow Members beyond your school We know you ll make memories that will last a lifetime Always feel free to call or email us if you have any questions Warmly The Board of Directors Sarasota Cotillion Club Please visit the Cotillion Club of Sarasota website at www SarasotaCotillion org Etiquette for additional information regarding general etiquette 13
